How I Stole Johnny Depps Alien Girlfriend


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One of his newest patients is this one girl named Zelda who showed up out of nowhere and who is adamant that:. The clock is ticking, some other girls from her planet show up and ugh, Zelda and David fall in love.


  1. Book Review: How I Stole Johnny Depp’s Alien Girlfriend by Gary Ghislain;
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I will start with the good: the beginning of the novel was actually quite entertaining especially when it was not clear whether Zelda was an alien or not. In fact, this novel had the trappings of a wonderful contemporary novel about a delusional girl and the boy who fell in love with her. Not only that but the relationship between David and his power-hungry, violent mother was all kinds of wonderful — in a really sad way, of course.

There was one scene where his mother is drunk and she slaps him to the point of drawing blood and David remains so loyal to the woman, it is nearly heartbreaking. But alas, this is not a contemporary novel, it is a Science Fiction Screwball Comedy or at least it tries to be and it must be read and understood by those parameters.

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It turns out that Zelda is an alien from the planet Vahalal. In her planet there are only women — all scantily clad, tattooed warriors who abhor men, except when it comes the time to mate which is when they must find their Chosen Ones. Anyways, Zelda runs around in a bikini of course , kicking butt, being generally awesome and David falls in love with her.

She is determined to find Johnny Depp because she NEEDS to pass on the key to the portal to his planet to him via sexual intercourse which is the only way that she has to go back to the planet. Let us think about this for a moment: there is a civilisation of kick-ass female warriors out there who according to a Goddess MUST find their Chosen Ones always male, from what I could gather to mate.

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Sorry, I think that there is no amount of screwball comedy that will make this funny to me. And then of course, there is the fact that these girls are not supposed to be feel anything EVER according to the precepts of their religion but of course, they have the potential to feel and fall in love with people but it never happens between two girls back in their planet, course not. It happens when they meet a man or rather when Zelda meets David.

The ending was a mess of galactic proportions with people running in and out of the portal, going to a different planet without any real repercussions, things not being solved and then Zelda remaining on earth with David, who dreams about being together forever, amen. Wall meets book, the end. Your mileage may vary.

How I Stole Johnny Depp’s Alien Girlfriend by Gary Ghislain

Rating: It is really hard to rate this one. Plus, I did enjoy the beginning of the book so…. Ana Grilo is a Brazilian who moved to the UK because of the weather. No, seriously.

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    Book Review: How I Stole Johnny Depp’s Alien Girlfriend by Gary Ghislain |

    When his dad's new patient Zelda tells him shes from outer space and on a quest to take Johnny Depp back to her planet, he knows he should run away screaming. But with one look from her mean, green eyes, David's hooked, and soon he's leaping across rooftops, running from police, and stealing cars just to stay by her side. He might not be a typical hero, but David's going to get the girl even if it takes him to the ends of the earth—or beyond.

    How I Stole Johnny Depps Alien Girlfriend How I Stole Johnny Depps Alien Girlfriend
    How I Stole Johnny Depps Alien Girlfriend How I Stole Johnny Depps Alien Girlfriend
    How I Stole Johnny Depps Alien Girlfriend How I Stole Johnny Depps Alien Girlfriend
    How I Stole Johnny Depps Alien Girlfriend How I Stole Johnny Depps Alien Girlfriend
    How I Stole Johnny Depps Alien Girlfriend How I Stole Johnny Depps Alien Girlfriend
    How I Stole Johnny Depps Alien Girlfriend How I Stole Johnny Depps Alien Girlfriend
    How I Stole Johnny Depps Alien Girlfriend How I Stole Johnny Depps Alien Girlfriend

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